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This is a transcript of the Batman: The Animated Series episode "Zatanna" from season one, which aired on February 2, 1993. It is divided into dialogue sections for better comprehension.

ZATANNA

  • Zatanna: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for magic! Good evening, Gotham. I'm Zatanna. Tonight, I can promise you a few surprises, a thrill or two along the way and with luck, a happy ending.
  • Alfred Pennyworth: How long has it been? Ten years? Twelve?
  • Bruce Wayne: All that and another lifetime.
  • Alfred: She and her father were very fond of you.
  • Bruce: I was a different person there.
  • Alfred: Yes. Intense, driven, moody. She'd never recognize you now.
  • Zatanna: Now, open your heart to magic and become a child again!

ZATARA

  • Zatara: Remember, concentration and control. Focus on them and you can master any escape. Go! - Congratulations! You've beaten your old time by six seconds!
  • Zatanna: Yes!
  • Zatara: You've got the makings of a great magician. I'm sorry you're going to be moving on.
  • "John Smith": Same here. It was an honor to study with you Zatara.
  • Zatara: But to what end? Three months ago you appear on my doorstep, with no interest in performing. And yet, dying to become an escape artist. And for some reason, I wound up teaching you secrets, I've never shown another magician.
  • "John": You could've send me away.
  • Zatara: No. There was something inside you I had no right to deny. Something deep and painful. After all, I would be foolish to assume I was the only one with secrets, hey, "John Smith"?
  • "John": Thanks for everything, sir.
  • Zatara: I'll miss you John, and so I trust will Zatanna.
  • Zatanna: Oh, hi daddy!
  • Zatara: Goodnight, children.
  • Zatanna: I thought you'd be finishing the tour with us.
  • "John": I'm leaving for Japan tomorrow. There's still a lot I have to learn.
  • Zatanna: Boy that's you! One big serious school boy. No time in your life for fun or magic. Here, pick a card. I'll tell your future.
  • Zatanna: Hmm, I see emotion, intensity... two of hearts.
  • "John": Joker...
  • Zatanna: Oh, it's a dumb trick anyway!
  • "John": Look, I dunno the future, but I know I'll see you again someday, Zanna.
  • Zatanna: You're the only one who ever calls me "Zanna". I really hate it. No goodbye hug? See, it's not so bad.
  • "John": I'll write you.
  • Zatanna: No, you won't.
  • "John": I promise.
  • Zatanna: You can't. I lock your hand to the wall!
  • "John": What?
  • Zatanna: Looks like someone's missing their plane tomorrow! But hey, if you're any kind of escape artist, you'd be out of those cuffs and through the door by now.... (gasp) ...now you see him; now you don't.

DISAPPEAR

  • Zatanna: Thank you! You know, I have this little problem with money. Seems like it disappears before I even make it! And here to help me demonstrate, are Mister Irving Faucewater, Director of the Gotham Mint and noted magic debunker, Dr. Montague Kane. Welcome gentlemen.
  • Montague Kane: Miss Zatanna.
  • Irving Faucewater: This is so exciting!
  • Zatanna: Whoa! Let me guess, first time on stage, Irv? Nothing like enthusiasm, right folks?
  • Kane: For the they're responding, one would think your ridiculous stunt was going to work!
  • Zatanna: Just to clue you in, Monty here makes a living exposing magicians' secrets.
  • Kane: Simple tricks and nonsense.
  • Zatanna: Uh-huh. And I've invited him here to find the secret of the feat I'm attempting tonight!
  • Kane: There is no secret. What you're proposing is flat out impossible.
  • Zatanna: Well kids, impossible is what I'm all about. Mr. Fauncewater, open the doors, please. Ten million dollars and the means to make it. Take a good look folks, cuz you know what they say about money... easy comes, easy goes!
  • Irving: Oh, my!
  • Kane: Bravo, my dear. It was a pleasure to be proven wrong.
  • Zatanna: Thank you, Monty. And now, just so Irv doesn't have a fit, I'll bring it back, good as new. Arva-decarba!
  • Irving: The money! Where's the money?!?
  • Zatanna: Where's the money, he says. It's right there, isn't it?
  • Irving: It's gone! What have you done with it!
  • Zatanna: Now, take it easy, Irv, I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation!
  • Kane: And I'm sure the audience would like to hear it... as would the police!
  • Zatanna: Now, wait a minute!
  • Irving: Police! Police!
  • Zatanna: Look, it's a trick- and illusion! I don't know what went wrong, but if we can all just calm down for a second...
  • Police: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you san can and will be used against you.

RESCUE

  • Zatanna: This never happens to me in Vegas!
  • Bruce: She's been set up.
  • Alfred: Obviously. But as she's the only suspect, the police must hold her.
  • Bruce: Giving the real thief time to escape. I can't let that happen.
  • Alfred: And more important, you can't desert an old friend.

IN THE BATMOBILE

  • Zatanna: Nice car.
  • Batman: Thanks.
  • Zatanna: You know, I didn't love the idea of spending the night in jail, but this does technically make me a fugitive. I believe I'm looking at some prison time, now.
  • Batman: I heard about the mint robbery. I can help prove you didn't do it.
  • Zatanna: What do you care about some leggy dame in nylons? Or have I answered my own question?
  • Batman: If you wanna go it alone.
  • Zatanna: No, no. I'm sorry. I'm having a bad day.
  • Batman: I'm sure whoever framed you, knew how your trick was done. They may have left a clue at the mint.

INVESTIGATION

  • Zatanna: This place is surrounded by cops!
  • Batman: Just relax.
  • Zatanna: That's where the money was.
  • Batman: Look. This line was recently scraped into the floor. Whatever made it, left shards of glass too.
  • Zatanna: That would've been one mighty big piece of glass... or mirror!
  • Batman: Like the one you used to reflect the hologram of the vanished mint.
  • Zatanna: Oh sure, take all the mystery out of life!
  • Batman: I think the money was stolen before you got here. The thief reflected a hologram of the cash, while you did your trick, then quickly hid the mirror when it was over.
  • Zatanna: How did he get rid of a mirror that big?
  • Batman: He didn't. It's sill here.
  • Police: Who's in here? Hold it! Stay where you are!

CLOSER

  • Zatanna: Only another magician would've known how to rig that trick!
  • Batman: Or someone who knows their methods... like Montague Kane.
  • Zatanna: He's been ripping off illusionists for years. I thought I finally had a trick even he couldn't expose. Wrong.
  • Batman: I'll settle with Kane. Meantime, I'd better drop you some place safe.
  • Zatanna: Oh, no! Kane played me for a sap and I'll see him go down for it.
  • Batman: Alright. But it could be dangerous. You're sure there's nobody you want to call first? Friends, family... a husband, maybe?
  • Zatanna: Me? Who's got time for a relationship when you're pulling rabbits out of a hat 52 weeks a year? Besides, somebody's gotta keep the old act going now that Dad's gone.
  • Batman: I'm sorry.
  • Zatanna: Why?
  • Batman: I saw him perform when I was younger. He was great.
  • Zatanna: Thanks. You know, I have the weirdest feeling that we've met before.
  • Batman: I... just have that kind of face.

TRAPPED

  • Kane: It would seem I have guests. Come in and join me by the fire. Come, come. Don't be shy. You've obviously unraveled my little scheme and I would congratulate you face to face.
  • Zatanna: You're not gonna have a face when I'm done with you! Now you slimy... (gasp)
  • Batman: It's a trap!
  • Kane: A trifle cliché, I know, but effective nonetheless. And while you briefly save .... your fleeting triumph I am leaving towards more comfortable surroundings... and you-
  • Batman: I have an idea.
  • Zatanna: Oh, I would hope so.
  • Batman: This way!
  • Zatanna: I always did know how to make an exit. Unfortunately, so did Kane.
  • Batman: Come on, the show's not over yet!

DEBUNKED

  • Kane: Take a last, longing look, gentlemen. We're heading to a place where the climate is warmer, the people are friendlier and the extradition laws are nonexistent.
  • Batman: The only place you're heading is to a prison cell!
  • Kane: Well done, Batman! You not only eluded my trap, but solved my clue as well. Get rid of him.
  • Zatanna: Ta-da! Oh, Monty, you fell for the second oldest trick in the book. And here's the first!
  • Kane: Keep your distance, Detective! - You are most engaging, my dear! Beautiful, impetous! I could be persuaded to spare you, if properly implored. - Aughh! Bring them both! - With all reverence for the departed, Zatara himself couldn't escape those locks! Still, between the two of you, you might be able to loose a few chains before you hit the water.
  • Batman: Take my hand!
  • Zatanna: Scared? That makes two of us!
  • Batman: Trust me Zanna.
  • Zatanna: Zanna?
  • Batman: Quick, in my glove.
  • Kane: Farewell, my dear Zatanna. We could've been... magic! - Incredible. - Stop firing you fools! - Get rid of him!
  • Zatanna: Don't you know, a magician doesn't make the same trick twice!

REMEMBER

  • Zatanna: So... you never wrote.
  • Batman: I meant to, really...
  • Zatanna: Hey, it's okay. I can see you've been busy. Just answer an old friend a question.
  • Batman: Shoot.
  • Zatanna: What happened that made you put this on?
  • Batman: A painful memory... and a promise.
  • Zatanna: I'd say you're keeping that promise pretty well. And for what it's worth, Dad would have been proud of you tonight.
  • Batman: You too. Can I give you a ride?
  • Zatanna: John- I hate goodbyes too. Love, Zanna. P.S. Don't forget to write.

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